One Hundred and Twenty-One

April 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

Day 121

I hope today is the last day I ever have to change my address. Unlikely? Not necessarily although the odds do seem to be against me. In the past 11 years I have had 12 “homes.” All of the moving and changes and new addresses have caused me to give a lot of thought to the idea of “home” and what is required to give a certain place that title.

Some say “home is where the heart is,” but it was in many of those 12 houses and apartments that I spent all of my time wondering where my heart had gone. Does home have something to do with love? – love for family, God, pets, or oneself? Is home the nest you fly back to after a long day? Or is home merely just a roof, some walls, and a floor?

For me, all of my homes have been, at one time or another, all of these things. Sometimes, although always grateful for the roof over my head, my home was nothing more than a place to wallow in despair or loneliness. Other times I could not be pulled away from my home, for all of the warmth and love it held felt too great to depart from. My homes have been the places where I have learned to cook, learned to relax, learned to love, and learned to let go.

I just changed my address with the United States Postal Service for what I hope is the last time ever. I still have to notify my banks and insurance agents and friends that I have another new address for yet another new home. But I have a feeling this one is going to be different. My small cabin in the middle of nowhere (most literally too if one looks at a map) is the home that all my other homes have led me to. This new place will be where I master the perfect pot of chili and the best chocolate cake. My new home will be a serene place to relax. It will be a home just for me, for now. After 11 years and 12 homes I have still not figured out what really makes a house a home. But I am nearly certain I will figure it all out soon.

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