One Hundred and Fifteen

April 24, 2012 § Leave a comment

Day 115

I would like to be a dreamer that reaches the stars. I want to have gumption to stand on my tippy toes and stretch my arms up to the sky. When will I jump high enough to touch the moon? Discipline is lost for joy, and exuberance collected instead of smarts. Is not caution thrown to the wind in order to feel the fresh breeze of direction? Are not new heights achieved by giving up control of time and logic? If I am to get anywhere I must first believe it is a possibility. I will never excel without high hopes. I stretch, but I do not stretch far enough to make it hurt. I plead with fate but refuse to delve deeper into that which is required. Doubts keep me from digging within my gut; I scratch the surface and call it good enough for now. But when will now be my great moment? Courage, don’t elude me! If I had the esteem, I would overturn mountains, but my vision is clouded with a melancholy confidence and a list of risks I believe to be an ill fit for my dismal disposition. So I settle for watching others shoot to the moon. I stand back in awe. For the first time I feel beckoned to step a little closer, to dig a little deeper. Maybe now is the now I have been waiting for. Maybe now is the time to start reaching for my stars instead of just wishing upon them.


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