One Hundred and Nine

April 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

Day 109

Responsible people pierce their noses. They wear bright pink eye shadow. They like men with skulls tattooed on their face. Or at least I tell myself these things to bring reassurance that I am capable of being a good homeowner, chicken keeper, and backwoods woman all the while being…well, me.

Men who have skull tattoos must be crazy. They probably drink a lot of cheap beer, cheat on their women, and hate cats. And just as I can make this judgment, I can also assume that all responsible home owners wear business suits. Grey ones. Or would they be black? And they work 9-5 for people they don’t like, hate the taste of beer, and have tattoos only on their ankles.

Out of insecurity and fear I have found myself making foolish judgments all day. In an attempt to compartmentalize people, and in hopes of self-reassurance, I have stooped to assume that a hierarchy exists, and I belong in the middle. It is the most irresponsible thing I could do at this point in time. I have not only managed to assume I know what a responsible homeowner looks like, but I deemed myself not good enough for the part. In order to make myself feel better, and talk myself out of an attraction to a man with face tattoos, I had to bring someone down.

Lesson learned today – irresponsibility has nothing to do with looks or hierarchies. However, it does have a lot to do with confidence, wisdom, and respect for one’s own self and others. After digging myself out of the pit of insecurity, I have realized responsible people do indeed pierce their noses sometimes. And it is probably not rare to run into one every now and then with skulls on tattooed on their face. It is not for me to say who is responsible and what they should or shouldn’t look like. Turns out that even after having my nose pierced today, I still fed my cat and my dog, put gas in my vehicle, and wore my seatbelt. So I think I’ll be okay.

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