February 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

Day 50.

It is a strange thing to go from country to suburb to city and back within just a few days. The sky goes from pitch black and full of glistening stars to gray and still displaying the Big Dipper to a muggy, empty ash. The suburbs ease me into traffic and a faster pace, yet somehow the city still catches me off guard with its sirens, many languages, and lack of grass. My mind goes from peaceful to thrilled, my heart from steady to racing as I transition in just a day’s time.

The return trip is always a bit more startling as I feel restless in the stillness of the woods. Instead of many people I am left with many stars. I try to entertain myself with TV, but there are only so many shows I can watch on the Food Network before feeling lazy and hungry. Being a Sunday, I took a long nap this afternoon as I tried to calm down from the journey. Upon waking, I realized I was back into country mode and gave no thought as I settled in to a night of predictable television viewing, quality time with the folks, and an uneasy relaxation.

Now, some hours later and I have learned all about hot dogs in the U.S. and Bigfoot in Kentucky. I have listened to the roaring of the woodstove’s fire, I have stayed cuddled up in a hooded sweatshirt, and I have taken my dog out in the black abyss that is my father’s quiet property. I am moving slower, eating more, and not at all worried that someone may be peering at me through the windows. It is good to be back.


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You are currently reading Fifty at Lost In the Separation.


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