January 1, 2012 § 1 Comment
Yes, here we are again, January 1st, with an empty bottle of wine and a mile long list of resolutions (which appear to be more or less rules than cheery goals promising brighter days). This is probably the first year in my adult life that I am empty handed with neither empty bottles nor rigid resolutions – possibly the perfect equation for my best year yet.
It is hard though, on this first day of the year, another glass of wine in my hand, to not envision what I hope for this coming year (and shouldn’t that be what our resolutions stem from anyway?). As I sip away I imagine myself at the opera, (oddly enough) I think about myself tasting many local wines, and I even (for a very, very, – Mom, I said VERY – brief moment) imagine myself falling in love.
And behind all of these things is that tried and true belief I have that I cannot for a moment let myself settle. Sure, it is all too easy to write off the opera as being too fancy for my tattooed self, sometimes it would be more convenient to pick up a bottle of cheap wine, and who can argue that singlehood is not the most freedom filled, blank-slated, form of adulthood? But apart from the rock music, this loner is (no, not an alcoholic) a teeny, tiny, smidgen of a hopeless romantic.
I am not going to live this year like it is all happening too fast, like I cannot keep up. This isn’t the races. Good things will come my way – it just might require a heck of a lot of patience and a couple of extra dollars for a few extra bottles of good wine.
It turns out you don’t only get one chance. You get a lot…maybe even endless amounts. And each day is about taking that 2nd, 3rd, 27th chance and going for it. This year I want to say “I’m sorry” more, I want to not denounce myself as being “too tattooed” or unqualified, and I am going to allow myself to be that little, eensy bit of a romantic.
So, that being said, come Christmas 2012 don’t expect me to be hitched to some wealthy man I found next door who I have nothing in common with (except for money), do not expect me to be cashing in on life as if I believe the Mayans to be correct in their world ending prediction. Don’t expect me to have lost 5 pounds or to have all of my junk together. This year, I do not expect myself to refrain from getting tattoos. This year, I do not plan to get all of my ducks in a row. But this year, I will definitely not settle for anything less than what I dream…and I will also drink plenty of local wines.