Dating 101: Part 2
September 15, 2011 § Leave a comment
Being ladylike is never out of style. For the most part I would say my generation still has a good grasp of what it means to be a lady (despite spending a few years in the “grunge” fad of the mid -90’s). However even me, a woman who wears lipstick and always says “thank you” needs to be reminded of proper lady etiquette, especially when it pertains to dating.
To be a lady during a date…
- You must have confidence. We all have it, but somewhere along the way, whether it was during puberty or in the shadow of prettier girls (or both – yikes!), we lost a little (or a lot!) of confidence, and here we are as adults trying to keep our shoulders down and our heads up having to make important decisions and, sometimes even scarier – having to make conversation with really attractive men. But remember back to the time, before all of that scary stuff happened, when we were princesses? Remember when we knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that we were destined to be queen, and a handsome prince would whisk us away, and we had nothing to worry about? Yeah, back then, we were engulfed with the confidence that we were meant to have for the rest of our lives. Every woman needs to realize that confidence again. Maybe it is in lipstick and “playing” dress-up…maybe it can be re-grasped by a good jog. Maybe all we need to do is stop being so mean to ourselves and instead think only about the things that make us great. When on a date, confidence affects your every move – can you make eye contact with the man sitting across from you? Can you sit up straight as you brag a little about how well you do at your job? I know, I know, growing up in the grunge era taught us to slouch in our chairs and let our hair droop in our eyes; while I am not advocating that we all stop listening to Nirvana, I am simply saying it is time to value who we are. He will notice, I guarantee it.
- Wear lipstick. Okay, I know this one will get dissed by many-a-gal reading, but I am going to go out on a limb here. Being a lady does not always mean being classy, however, when a woman is on a date classiness is not overrated. What better way to accentuate your femininity and add a little class than by wearing lipstick? Red, pink, nude, blue (okay, not blue, I’m just a little nostalgic over the mid-90’s right now)… Try it. Trust me.
- Do not wear a hooded sweatshirt unless maybe you are going for a hike or fishing or anticipating high winds and pouring rain.
- Do not talk too much. We are girls; we gab. But never should we go on and on during a date. Ask questions. Make sure the conversation is an even back and forth. And don’t be afraid of a little silence every now and then.
- Do not make fun of him or cut him down. Seems like common sense… and maybe it is for everyone but me. I tend to tease guys too much – which is fine when you’re “just one of the guys”, but highly inappropriate in a situation when you should be showing special amounts of respect and grace.
- Keep your legs crossed, your hands folded, and your elbows off of the table! Mom knows best.
- Make eye contact. I am not sure how this pertains to being a lady besides the fact that it exudes confidence, conveys sincerity, and keeps the guy from checking out the cute girls passing by…
- Keep your cell phone in your purse. Do not throw it on the table like you are surrendering a weapon, do not put it on your lap…in fact, turn it off – unless you have friend on stand-by to call and fake an emergency. As a general rule, only check your cell phone when you are checking your hair and makeup (which, for those of you who grew up in a cave, or the middle of the woods like me, the aforementioned checkups should only be done in the Ladies’ room).
- “Thank you”, “thank you”, “thank you”…. Say it when he holds the door open for you, when he pulls out your chair (do men ever do that anymore?), when he pays for dinner (if he doesn’t pay then you should say a lot of other words to him), and when he walks you to your car. By doing so you are practicing good manners, showing him that you are aware of his effort, and reaffirming the gentlemanly gestures he had to painstakingly learn as a boy.
- Flirt. Yup, real ladies flirt.
- I do not always condone following society’s rules, but in order to not look too eager let the man ask for a second date or initiate the kiss.
- A Gratitude Text is appropriate once you are home. Keep it short, simple, and not too clingy…if you are tempted to say too much via text, that you would not have the guts to say face to face, then skip messaging all together and instead thank him in person next time you see him. End in ladylike fashion no matter what the outcome of the date.