Adventures In… ch.54

August 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

Adventures In…

Sunday Afternoon.

I cannot adequately express how frustrating it is to be home alone on a Sunday afternoon making a pan of lasagna while watching Yentl. I am not a big fan of lasagna, and as of a few minutes ago, realized I am not a fan of the movie Yentl either.

For those of you who have never seen Yentl it is a Barbara Streisand classic where her character dresses up like a Jewish man, all the while still sounding much like a woman and of course, singing in the background in typical Barbara fashion. It may sound interesting, but it is not.

Kind of like that lasagna recipe. I got it in my head some weeks ago that if I knew how to make a good lasagna I would someday have a happy husband. I have never felt more alone while cooking. To make matters worse I now have a lot of lasagna cooling on my stove, and all I really want to eat is the ice cream in my freezer.

In the meantime I have turned off Yentl and decided to pitch my cookbook. The cookbook is supposed to contain a little bit of everything so I thought it’d be a good place to (re)start learning how to be a spectacular housewife. This cookbook was supposed to be my fallback (in the same way I thought a Barbara Streisand movie would be), but fallbacks don’t always work. This cookbook produces food with too much sugar and too little flavor. It is not making me a better cook. So I am getting rid of it…with the same disappointment that I used in turning off the ridiculous movie. I also got rid of my bed today. Down-sizing.

I would really like to be watching football. But it is either Yentl or golf. Sundays have become the loneliest days of the week. It is not that I actually really enjoy watching a football game, but it is nice to have on in the background. It’s a good fallback to have when there is nothing else around to make noise.

Fallbacks. I lack decent fallbacks. Lately I feel like all I can do is wait for the rug to be pulled out from underneath me. I am waiting, waiting in the dead silence of my empty apartment for the football game to come on. I am waiting for the right place to open up so I can move. I am waiting for a man to come around so I can have someone to cook for. I am waiting for things to make sense. And I like waiting about as much as I like lasagna…and Yentl.


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