Adventures In… ch.50

July 6, 2011 § Leave a comment

Adventures In…

New Pencils.

Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly?) the dollar store already has a small back-to-school section set up in the front of the store. Composition notebooks and neon colored pens sit ready to go. A bit early, but then again, new school year excitement is difficult to contain. I am not planning on going back to school any time soon; however, this fall just may be the beginning of something even better.

Scary excitement – the kind you get when sharpening all of the new pencils before placing them into a pencil box. It is like repeatedly opening and closing your new lunchbox while imagining the treats you will discover inside of it every weekday afternoon. There is the fear of new classes and teachers, of tests and pressure, of bullies and cute boys, but eventually you put on your new outfit and get on that bus.

Now that I am older I can waste a lot more time sharpening pencils. I can let fear take over. No one is forcing me on the bus. We become adults and we let the pressures and the fears and the bullies (and the cute boys) keep us from going after our dreams. We settle. We take our newly sharpened pencils and fresh outfit and tell ourselves that the mundane job, the lackluster existence, the buried passions are just part of being older.

This fall I have the chance to take risk. I have an opportunity to question mere existence and listen to my heart. There are a lot of things I need besides pencils with fresh pink erasers still blooming from their ends. I need vulnerability, courage, ears to hear my heart, and the ability to let go of my fears. I have been here before and it has taken me on great journeys; however the older and more “mature” I have become the less willing I have been to take the risks.

What would it look like if everyone went wholeheartedly after their dreams? We hear of the stories of stay-at-home moms who acquire wealth with an internet business or of the pop stars who worked from childhood to sing in front of millions. When I lived in Nashville I watched as nearly everyone I knew believed their next big break was right around the corner. Everyone was a musician or a singer. Everyone knew someone. Everyone was certain they were what everyone else wanted to hear streaming through the radio. And, ashamedly, I admit that I laughed. Who did they think they were?

I know who they were – they were vulnerability and courage and confidence. Most of them were truly passionate. They were doing what they loved. They were risking a lot. They were dreamers.

I want to be that kind of dreamer. The dreamer that realizes anything is possible. The dreamer that doesn’t settle, however, savors all of the steps along the way. I don’t desire to be famous or rich; I just want to do what I love. I want to experience my dreams. I want to be filled with scary excitement and live in a world where we don’t settle or succumb to fear.

Let us raise our newly sharpened pencils towards the sky and vow to live our dreams!

…..isn’t that what we were planning to do when we got older anyway?


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