May 25, 2011 § Leave a comment
The End Of the World.
I thought the world was ending, and I took my chance. Maybe I was nothing more to you than an apocalyptic fling; I thought the world was ending, and I took my chance. I spent too much time getting ready that night – for Jesus…and for you. There was that dream some months before. A leopard print skirt and the freedom to be me. I realized that being cool had nothing to do with what others thought but everything to do with what I thought of me. Then the skirt appeared on the clothing rack; I thought the world was ending, I took my chance. Some could say I took a chance on you…or a chance on that skirt…a chance on freedom. It was a chance at vulnerability. For a minute, the minute that I thought was our last, it was about you. I took a key and turned the rusty lock. I had imagined that moment for months, for years. I opened the door to my heart; I thought the world was ending, and I took my chance. For days I haven’t ate much, I have slept little. The world didn’t end, but yet so much did. The skirt sits crumpled upon my bedroom floor, your art – “Every End Is The Beginning of Something” – sits restlessly on my coffee table. Nothing was answered that not-so-fateful night. The days that have followed showcase a line of empty wine bottles, a fridge stocked with rotting food, and my heart a bit burnt. He didn’t show up but you did. I have learned what is left and what is missing. You gave me a chance but it wasn’t enough; I thought the world was ending, and I took my chance. I still have my skirt and my freedom. I still have that dream. I have short, bitten nails but a new vulnerability. You have gone with you logic, leaving pictures of boats sailing in the night on my fridge. “Every End Is The Beginning of Something.” I am still on this earth holding my heart. But at least I took my chance.