Thoughts On… ch.33
March 1, 2011 § Leave a comment
This evening I started thinking about all of the mistakes I have made in my current stint as a singleton. The list (in progress) is neither appallingly long nor containing anything of dire significance, yet it still contains mistakes I feel worth openly admitting lest I find myself making them again.
- I have ignored the red flags. I am not sure if it comes down to me not trusting my own instincts, me feeling the need to be open minded, or me just being ignorant, however I need to pay attention to the red flags. It’s those things like: he lives too far away or he’s not my type or the most recent – he’s homeless. Despite me realizing these things right off the bat I still feel the need to give the guy a shot. While that may seem like a sensible thing to do it never works out. Never. Red flags are red flags.
- I have tried to pursue guys. And it should definitely be the other way around. Period. Slap on the wrist. I know better.
- I told a guy I liked him before I even really knew him. Well, sort of. It was for story’s sake. I wrote a blog entry and allowed some very girly feelings to gush out. Why did I think this wasn’t going to cause an awkward ending? Good story though.
- I liked a friend and never told him. Not as simple as it sounds. I pretty much spent most of the time trying to either hide feelings or express feelings – and to a guy that probably looks more confusing than I can imagine. Sorry friend!
- I liked a boy because I was lonely. I know, I know, horrible! But we have ALL been there. I guarantee it. We just don’t always realize it. If you have ever walked out of a relationship and looked back and thought, “what was I thinking?!” then that’s a good indicator that you are just as despicable as me.
- I told a guy I liked him and then a few days later ended it. In my defense (shoot, I am on #6, I am allowed to get defensive at this point!) it was my first relationship after divorce and maybe it was too soon, maybe I was too scared, and I definitely still had a lot of things to process.
- I have tried to justify liking a 19 year old, a homeless guy, and 3 skaters at a bar who were definitely not Christians. Like I said earlier, I am open-minded.
- I have gotten quite close to desperation (and I am not referring to any of the men, or boys, in #7).
- I have tried to convince myself that friendships with the opposite sex are totally doable. I mean, they are doable…sometimes… just not necessarily when you are getting ever closer to 30 years of age and wanting to get married soon and having an issue with #1, #2, #4, #5, and #8 on this list.
Nine and still counting.