Thoughts On… ch.23
September 18, 2010 § Leave a comment
Anyone who has seen me in the past 12 hours knows that I would give just about anything to be drinking a certain holiday flavor of latte with a certain respected young man. And I don’t just respect him for the fact that he would pay for my latte or hold the café door open for me. This boy is one of the best listeners I know…which is saying a lot, because I say a lot. I think that I tend to complain when I am talking to him, but mostly because he is listening and he is a man…and they fix things. And I instinctively trust him, partly because he is a man but also because he…well, he listens, and he doesn’t seem to judge, and he has never made fun of me.
No one has seen me in the last 12 hours because I have kept mostly to myself. This space has given me a lot of room to think…and to sing out loud, but mostly to think. And when I wasn’t singing I was thinking about that certain boy and the difference between friendship and dating and my current theory that suggests it’s a bit better to be friends first before settling into the girlfriend/boyfriend status. In the end none of it really matters though because at some point along the way you either become friends or bail…or both. But I thought a lot about the theory anyway.
I don’t like to over think things, but I almost always do. I like to say it is my path to being intentional (but that’s a whole separate theory). But this certain man, I don’t want to over think. No one wants to end up falling in love with the idea of someone. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with just the idea of anyone, but this boy and I are past that. He is actually a real friend…and not just because he’s a good listener. And not just because he wears Carhart overalls either, but because he lets me be me and doesn’t expect or assume anything else. He makes me feel safe like I could ask anything; I’m pretty sure if I needed help he would be the first to offer. But those aren’t the only reasons we are friends. We both like coffee.
So back to that theory (which requires thinking). This gentleman and I are just friends. And maybe good friends…because he is the only one I have wanted to drink coffee with in the past 12 hours. And that leads to the part of the theory I have yet to consider. Two people attracted to each other, getting to know each other, just staying friends? Easy if you live in different states, which for us, is the case. And while I would give anything to drink coffee with him right now, I am thinking this is the best way to go…but I almost always over think things.