Thoughts On… ch.22
September 16, 2010 § Leave a comment
12 Things to Do Before Meeting Your Spouse
In the case that you find yourself wanting to marry but see no potential suitors within your line of sight, realize that you have two choices (well, actually I counted about 17, but let’s just say there are only 2). The first choice is pretty short sighted and one I have fearlessly attempted. I can also say it’s a sure fire way to make a fool of yourself. Choice #1 Try to find your spouse, and not just that, but frantically do so while declaring you are on a quest to find true love. Forgoing all other areas of life (whether you realize it or not), this option leaves you narrow minded, drained, feeling desperate, and at the very best with only a of couple friends left. Choice #2 Realize that the stars will someday align and you will meet your spouse before pigs fly (and it will most likely happen when you least expect it) and there is not too much you can do to speed it along. This choice is also about realizing that when those stars do align, it will be better if you are prepared. That being said, here are 12 things I suggest people do before that fateful day (and I make this list out of experience).
- Stay up late or go to bed early now while you still can…because there is nothing worse than going to bed alone while your spouse stays up (or crawling into a bed 2 hours after your spouse fell asleep). If you think that this is not a big issue then read carefully #2. I also feel this to be a true celebration of singlehood and the freedom that comes with it.
- Learn to be selfless. It seems that people think they will decide to be an expert at this once they live under the same roof as their spouse. However, that is mostly wrong. Being selfless is a choice, yet it is also a really good habit to get into now (which leads to #3).
- Develop good habits; don’t just get rid of the bad ones. Eat more fruit, save your receipts, pick up after yourself….
- Get in shape. Don’t think that you need to look good now to attract someone but don’t tell yourself that you will get in shape right before the wedding either. I tried to convince myself that the worse I look now, the more my future spouse would like me 10 years when I start exercising. But I’ll be the first to admit that is one of the dumbest ideas (although as I type it I find myself being sucked back into its allure…).
- Get out of debt. If you owe school loans set up a plan for yourself to pay them. If you owe your sister $5 then pay her back. The only thing worse than marrying someone who hasn’t saved any money is marrying someone who owes money.
- Get rid of your junk. And here I speak of material items. Throw out CD cases you no longer have purpose for, bring your too small clothes to the thrift store (unless you’re really successful with #4), and give away pretty much anything that you don’t use or that the opposite sex has told you is ugly.
- Become a better cook and/or learn how to bake. Not only does this attract the opposite sex but it will make you a really good spouse…as well as merit you back massages, foot rubs, or power over the remote control after dinner.
- Go to the library and get a book and tuck yourself away in the corner. (In other words, do anything that you really like to do and do it without looking at the time or checking your phone or worrying about what you’re going to make for dinner….because you’ll get many years of wedded bliss to do all of that.)
- Dream. During the day. Imagine yourself living in a big city or a small town or Texas. Think about what you would like to go back to school for or what kind of car you’d like to buy. And if you think of anything exceptionally great, do it. Because you can…and you don’t have to check with someone else first.
- If #9 leads you to find a new goal, then insert that goal here. Tackle something really grand whether it is to write a book, live in NYC, take a missions trip, or lose 20lbs. There’s no better time than now.
- Learn to be honest with yourself and everyone else. Really honest. Not just the sort of honesty that implies you aren’t telling a giant lie, but the kind of honesty that says “no”, that speaks up, that answers questions and states desires with a head held high. Learn to speak out and ask questions. Be able to admit it when you don’t understand something, and get rid of the notion that you might look stupid. Nothing looks more stupid and just plain contradictory than a couple that can’t communicate.
Get comfortable. And know without a doubt that someday someone is going to shake up your world and it will feel so good.