Twenty-Five
January 26th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Day 25.
After an eight hour road trip with twin toddlers I am happy to report that I am still alive. In fact, besides the minor injury to my left shoulder (obtained from a catapulted blue sippy-cup), I am great! Turns out two toddlers do not always make for bad road companions – they can be entertaining to say the least. As if they thought I would fall asleep at the wheel, they did not manage to stop talking or singing (besides their post-rowdy lunch-break nap). Luckily their mother was along to keep them in line; also keeping me company and saving me from a catapulted green sippy-cup. Excitement was in the stuffy, car air as they were heading home, and I was on my way to visit my favorite city.
The twins have been nestled in their cribs for hours now, in which time I have spent mostly disoriented. Although this trip to Illinois is only temporary, I am sad to be away from the glowing woodstove in Michigan. I have spent the last month living out of a suitcase, without income, and contemplating things like settling and safety. While my nephews sleep peacefully I have downloaded apps for the Metra and the ‘L’, gone over city maps, checked my bank accounts, and searched job postings all the while feeling a bit homeless and lost. I don’t seem to thrive without routine or my own space. And living without a paycheck but having to pay for dental work and car repairs is unnerving.
It is all a bit stretching. Like a 2 year old strapped into a car seat all day, I feel like despite my efforts to get out of the moving vehicle I am getting nowhere, and I need to just sit back, enjoy the ride, and trust that I am going to end up somewhere really great. No matter how much I kick or scream (or throw stuff) it’s not going to change the seemingly endless dental work or uninteresting job openings. If I am really going to get somewhere inspiring and fulfilling I need to take life one day at a time, even if that means living out of a suitcase. So I will not fuss along this journey, but I will keep looking out the window; not giving up hope that eventually I will end up at home.
