Eighteen
January 18th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Day 18.
Tomorrow morning I have to go get a 2nd root canal in tooth number 14. At 8:45am I will be sitting in a dentist chair, loathing both the fact that I ever ate sugar and the fact that I agreed to such an early appointment. It will only be a few degrees outside; I will be shivering and sweating at the same time. I will meditate on two things as the dentist sticks her hands (and some ungodly tools) into my mouth – 1) A bible verse (whichever one comes to mind in that stomach turning moment) and 2) Alaska (usually a mountainous scene). Once they prop my seat up and the blood rushes back from my head I will collect my thoughts, feeling relieved that it is over and frustrated that half of my mouth is numb. As I go to leave I will hand them my credit card so they can charge me the total sum of… way too much money. And as I get back in my vehicle I will blast the heat while vowing to never, ever, ever, EVER eat sugar again!
I have given the whole thing a lot of thought…worry…anxiety…fear… I have rehearsed it all in my head. I haven’t planned my week past tomorrow at 10:15am. Today I tried to choose to be happy despite my dread of the dentist and my anger at having to spend so much money just for sleeping with a cough drop in my mouth (which is what I am blaming all of this on). I tried to choose, but apparently I didn’t try hard enough.
8:45 is too early for such misery, but tomorrow I will try harder. At 8:45am I will be sitting in a dentist chair, thankful that I have only one bad tooth in my mouth and glad that I don’t have to spend the rest of my day loathing the appointment. And once the left side of my mouth regains feeling I just might even smile.
